the tindog coffeehouse

I used to have a different blog a couple of years ago, and there was a running joke about how squirrels were plotting to take over the world.

Well, maybe it’s not a joke:

A squirrel ignited a fiery chain reaction that led to a power line collapse, car fire, natural gas fire and a power outage in northwest Spokane Wednesday morning.

It all started at 8:22 a.m. in the 4900 block of North Hartley at Wellesley when, according to Avista investigators, a squirrel came in contact with a transformer. That single action set in motion a chain of events.

First, the power line burned through causing the line to fall to the ground and come into contact with a metal fence and a car. The car caught on fire.

The fence, meanwhile, was energized by the fallen power line and the electricity was conducted underground to a natural gas pipeline which in turn burned through and started an underground natural gas fire which burned up to two gas meters at nearby houses.

The Squirrel Liberation Front strikes again!

A Chicago woman is conducting a year-long experiment to see if it’s possible to live explicitly according to Oprah Winfrey’s advice.

No, seriously!  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Why is she doing this?

Well, for several reasons. On one hand, I am concerned about the manner in which power is wielded by celebrities and on the other hand, I am doubly concerned about how willing we are to hand over our power to our gurus.

I believe the most influential American public figure today to be Oprah Winfrey. Many of us allow her to dictate what we read, what we watch, what we listen to, how we cook, exercise, organize, and how we vote. We are convinced by her powerful public persona that her way is the right way. The road to happiness and success. …

I’m interested in seeing what happens when an average American woman (I’ll give you all my stats in my next post) tries to keep up with Oprah’s advice to (as her website touts) “live your best life.” Can I keep up? What will the financial, emotional and time costs be?

That was in January.  Along the way she’s learned how to align her “vibrations”, the importance of owning a white denim jacket, and that “avocado” comes from the Aztec word for “testicle”.

OK…  Well, at least it’s not like Oprah is some sort of cult leader or anything.  Oh, wait…

FOUND is an online collection of random lists, notes, and photos that people find and submit. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re sad, but usually they’re just weirdly amusing.

Like this one:

things to accomplish in my career

- create my own computer.
- build a laptop
- create my own graphics card.
- create my own video game
- create my own computer company
- or work for Alienware
- have a huge house
- live with only my friends

Well, if you’re gonna dream, dream big.

Now, this is just wrong.

The Fox 5 news anchors in Las Vegas have had fake McDonald’s iced coffees in front of them for two weeks as product placement.

Fake coffee on the real news, two plastic cups permanently filled with some kind of bogus drink. The anchors aren’t even supposed to acknowledge them, McDonald’s reps explain.

In related news, those smiles aren’t genuine either.

Yes, cow patty pens: handcrafted pens made from “flecks of brown suspended in a clear plastic, looking almost like wood from a distance.” (Almost.)

Listening to Lopez describe how he arrived at his production method is like listening to a scientist describe a breakthrough discovery. The cow patties can’t be too dry but they can’t be too fresh, either. Also important is the type of feed the cattle in question are eating.

Eligible patties must be made from pure coastal grass, never grain, Lopez said adamantly, gesturing with both hands otherwise the patty “won’t be natural.”

Once selected and harvested, the winners are ground into a powder, placed in a tray and mixed with a plastic resin. After four days, he can cut the hardened plastic into small blocks for further custom milling. He said it’s the hardest substance he has ever cut because of sand ingested by the cows along with the grass.

The blocks are spun on a wood lathe at 3,900 revolutions per minute, worked into a cylinder, assembled with parts bought from a catalog and polished. The process yields 10 to 15 pens and takes six to eight hours, Lopez said.

(Hey, Mike Rowe, this sounds right up your alley!)

The pens sell for $45. The perfect gift for the senator or congressman in your life!

The List Universe has posted the Top 10 Facts about Saint Nicholas, the 3rd-century saint who would later come to symbolize the true meaning of our Savior’s birth: early-bird shop-a-thons, 50%-off sales, and an eternal shortage of Nintendo Wiis. (Wikipedia article here, from which the Top 10 list is derived.)

According to legend, Saint Nicholas became famous for his gift-giving ways after anonymously giving a man bags of gold coins to keep his daughters from prostituting themselves. Seems kind of ironic today, doesn’t it?