the tindog coffeehouse

Meet Sugar Bush Squirrel, an Eastern gray squirrel and pet of Ms. Kelly Foxton. You may already know Ms. Foxton, who, in addition to recording country music and performing at the Grand Ole Opry, has put together “her own Las Vegas act for cruise ships and conventions” and won “awards too numerous to mention.” But it’s her love for Sugar Bush Squirrel (yes, the animal’s name includes the redundant “Squirrel”) that has likely gained the couple the greatest notoriety. You see, Ms. Foxton has a few other passions in her life, including:

• Dressing Sugar Bush Squirrel the squirrel in various whimsical (and usually patriotic) costumes,
• Taking pictures of Sugar Bush Squirrel the squirrel in said costumes,
• And web design.

The culmination of those passions is Ms. Foxton’s Sugar Bush Squirrel website, an online gallery of the most inspiring photos of a squirrel dressed as Sarah Palin you’re likely to ever see in your lifetime.

So, the obvious question — because I know you’re wondering — is whether Sugar Bush Squirrel the squirrel is related to the impending Squirrel Uprising that will surely doom the human race, and unfortunately I don’t have the answer. But honestly, I’m too choked up to care at the moment. All I can say is, God bless America, and God bless Sugar Bush Squirrel.

Over-enthusiastic Tennessee voter Mark Ciptak took his support for the McCain/Palin ticket further than most by recently naming his new baby daughter Sarah McCain Palin.

Of course, he didn’t bother to tell his wife first.

A blood bank employee for the American Red Cross, Ciptak said he chose the name to show his support and to encourage others to vote.

But Sarah McCain Palin is not the name Ciptak and his wife, Layla, originally agreed upon.

“I sort of secretively went behind her back and changed the paperwork,” Ciptak said.

Ava Grace was the name originally chosen by the couple.

Fueled by his new idea, Ciptak caused a distraction and some confusion at the hospital by using two separate birth certificate forms.

“With the stress of everything going on, she, I guess, didn’t realize that a new form was printed with my handwriting because my handwriting is very noticeable, very unique,” he said of his wife.

The baby reportedly looks exactly like Tina Fey. Who woulda guessed?

I tried to watch the vice presidential debate last night. I made it through the first 20 minutes or so, then had to take a break, peeking back in on occasion out of curiosity. Like many voters, I was only tuning in to see Sarah Palin, and like many, I was rooting for her.

But I just couldn’t watch the whole thing. It was too painful.

The morning-after commentary from the media appears to be mostly positive regarding her performance, but it didn’t seem that way to me. She appeared very nervous, especially compared to Joe Biden, who was clearly in his comfort zone. She had very few specific answers to questions and often dodged them entirely by repeating memorized talking points. And the “darn right”s and “you betcha”s nearly did me in.

So how could this be? How could she charm a bunch of political analysts while sending me fleeing from the room? Call it the paradox of Sarah Palin.

Ever since being thrust into the national spotlight, Palin has been painted as both a small-town, working-class hockey mom and a hard-hitting reformer, someone who can take on the establishment with a grin and a wink, a characterization that has sent many in the liberal media into a full-blown tizzy.

But I was hoping for more than a grin and a wink last night. More than a stump speech about “the maverick” John McCain. I wanted to see Sarah Barracuda, the pit bull with lipstick. I wanted to see her silence her critics with her innate understanding of the big issues and bury Joe Biden with her masterful rebuttals.

But I just didn’t see it.

I guess time will tell what the results are of the debate on the election, if any. In the meantime, we’ll have to settle for a few more winks. You betcha.