The Air Force claims their quest to build an automated ground squirrel tracking device is only meant to protect the endangered critters, not destroy them and their fellow insurgents of the Squirrel Liberation Front. Right. Just like Area 51 is just another military base, and JFK wasn’t killed by a tiger.

Previously:
Squirrel Uprising in Vermont: ‘This was an attack’
Squirrel Uprising: The hunters become the hunted
Squirrel Uprising: Spies among us!
Squirrel Uprising: Rise of the black ‘super squirrel’

“This wasn’t an accident, this was an attack,” said Kevin McDonald of Bennington.

McDonald describes it as something out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie, except instead of birds…

“It kind of startled me and I whirled around to look and saw this furry thing on my back and it was a gray squirrel,” McDonald said.

While McDonald cleared snow from his front yard a gray squirrel jumped onto his back three separate times.

“It jumped at me again and got on my upper arm and started to claw and scratch and I threw it off again and it jumped at me again,” he said with a laugh.

No word yet on whether Ben & Jerry’s will name a new flavor of ice cream after the squirrel, but “Rabid Rodent Rum Raisin” does have a nice ring to it.

Previously:
Squirrel Uprising: The hunters become the hunted
Squirrel Uprising: Spies among us!
Squirrel Uprising: The latest updates

I follow Wayne into an ancient oak bottom, the canopy ten stories above us, only a dim light filtering in. The understory is mostly open, but there are scattered stands of cane, holly, huckleberry, and pine. The birds are just waking up, Carolina wrens, a few warblers or vireos I can’t identify, and a cardinal. We stand listening and looking, and after ten minutes Wayne spots a squirrel high in a tree, cutting acorns. We spend another ten minutes stalking it, feeling the ground with our feet, taking care not to crack twigs, keeping our eyes on the treetops. When the squirrel moves, we move; when it stops, we stop—always careful to keep a screen of leaves between us and the animal. Wayne aims and fires, and the squirrel drops onto the forest floor. At that same moment I hear rustling overhead and see another gray squirrel running between the crowns of the oaks. I lead it and fire twice. It too drops to the ground. Wayne puts both animals in his vest.

Consider yourselves warned, varmints. Don’t mess with Texas.

Previously:
Squirrel Uprising: Spies among us!
All hail the solar-powered squirrel god
Squirrel Uprising: The latest updates

Source.

Previously:
All hail the solar-powered squirrel god
Squirrel Uprising: The latest updates
Squirrel Uprising: Rise of the black ‘super squirrel’

• Dressing Sugar Bush Squirrel the squirrel in various whimsical (and usually patriotic) costumes,
• Taking pictures of Sugar Bush Squirrel the squirrel in said costumes,
• And web design.

The culmination of those passions is Ms. Foxton’s Sugar Bush Squirrel website, an online gallery of the most inspiring photos of a squirrel dressed as Sarah Palin you’re likely to ever see in your lifetime.

So, the obvious question — because I know you’re wondering — is whether Sugar Bush Squirrel the squirrel is related to the impending Squirrel Uprising that will surely doom the human race, and unfortunately I don’t have the answer. But honestly, I’m too choked up to care at the moment. All I can say is, God bless America, and God bless Sugar Bush Squirrel.

It may be blasphemous, but at least it comes with a two-year warranty.

Previously:
Squirrel Uprising 2: The Revenge
Squirrel Uprising: Rise of the black ‘super squirrel’
Squirrel Uprising: Snobby French squirrels
Squirrel Uprising: The latest updates

First, a battle in Milwaukee between a relentless gray squirrel and a homeowner determined to defend his attic at all costs. You can probably guess who’s winning.

“Normally when you see a squirrel, it’s just a squirrel. But now it’s like I know him. He’s a very worthy adversary,” Dave said when I embedded with his forces this week. …

“Our house has lost $15K in value with the sheet metal, six holes in the side of the house, roofing being torn out, a radio with 24-hour sports talk being blared out the back window (yesterday it was Rush). And now we have a fake owl outside the window in an effort to scare him. Oh, we also have a spotlight to prevent him from chewing.”

That’s not Rush as in “Today’s Tom Sawyer, mean, mean pride.” It’s Limbaugh, who’s been known to actually attract rodents.

The squirrel has chewed holes right through the eaves to get into the attic. When Dave would nail sheet metal over one hole, the squirrel would gnaw another. This required him/her to hang upside-down from the rain gutter, which it’s also been eating.

Next, from the UK an update on the civil war between the gray squirrels and the black “super-squirrels”. It seems the cannibalistic critters have developed quite the appetite for squirrel-flavored potato chips. Yes, really. Squirrel-flavored potato chips.

“They can’t seem to get enough of the squirrel-flavoured crisps,” said Camilla, 54, of Milton Keynes, Bucks.

“I bought a packet of them but I didn’t like them as they were quite spicy so I put them on the bird table.

“I was so surprised when I saw the squirrels tucking in, they seem to love them.”

Um, yeah.

Finally, a stunning recreation of armor worn by Medieval squirrel knights.

King Arthur would surely be proud. Or weirded out.

Previously:
Squirrel Uprising 2: The Revenge
Squirrel Uprising: Rise of the black ‘super squirrel’
Squirrel Uprising: Snobby French squirrels

Previously:
Squirrel Uprising 2: The Revenge
Squirrel Uprising: Rise of the black ‘super squirrel’

The testosterone-fuelled black squirrels are faster, fitter, fiercely territorial and more aggressive, beating greys to food and mates.

It is a subgroup of the same species of squirrel as greys but in some areas has already become the dominant variety. …

Dr Thomas said the first black squirrel was sighted on the outskirts of Letchworth, Hertfordshire in 1912. The latest estimates show there could be as many as 25,000 black squirrels in the East of England.

This is the biggest change in squirrel demographics since the last indigenous red squirrels almost disappeared 50 years ago as a result of the population explosion of the bigger and more aggressive greys.

With the friendlier varieties quickly becoming obsolete, it’s only a matter of time before the angry nut-hoarding rodents turn their attention back on us. Yes, we should be afraid. Very afraid.

Previously:
Squirrel Uprising 2: The Revenge

Well, maybe it’s not a joke:

A squirrel ignited a fiery chain reaction that led to a power line collapse, car fire, natural gas fire and a power outage in northwest Spokane Wednesday morning.

It all started at 8:22 a.m. in the 4900 block of North Hartley at Wellesley when, according to Avista investigators, a squirrel came in contact with a transformer. That single action set in motion a chain of events.

First, the power line burned through causing the line to fall to the ground and come into contact with a metal fence and a car. The car caught on fire.

The fence, meanwhile, was energized by the fallen power line and the electricity was conducted underground to a natural gas pipeline which in turn burned through and started an underground natural gas fire which burned up to two gas meters at nearby houses.

The Squirrel Liberation Front strikes again!